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Midlife Coaching

Midlife - crisis or opportunity?
Midlife…so when exactly did that happen?  Somehow it seemed to just creep up on you when you weren’t looking but here you are, in midlife.  We all travel a unique journey to arrive at this phase of our lives and yet often experience remarkably similar feelings as we enter the uncharted and often rocky terrain of midlife.…..mood swings, hormones all over the place, physical changes and identity limbo, to name but a few!

And yes, you’d be right in thinking that this description shares more than a passing resemblance to another of life’s major transitions – adolescence.  I suspect the memories of that time can probably make you cringe even now as you recall experimental attempts to morph from child to adult!

Identity challenges are not the preserve of the adolescent!
It’s no coincidence that midlife was called ‘the second puberty’ by psychiatrist Carl Jung.  In the blink of an eye, having fast forwarded a few decades, we find ourselves at midlife experiencing very similar feelings once again, back in that unsettling limbo, struggling to figure out who we really are or where to go from here.

So, are we talking midlife crisis you may ask?
Well, midlife is often described in terms of a crisis, when really it’s more of a perfectly predictable process whereby people ‘of a certain age’ look around at their lives and ask the simple but  profound question: 
Is this it.....?

There are of course the much satirised ways of trying to answer this question - the impulse purchase of the Harley Davidson or the jettisoning of established relationships for the thrill of the new.  Yet these too are symptomatic of a yearning to address or reclaim something in our lives - even though we might not be clear on what that something is or the best way to get it.

Now at midlife we arrive at our own half-way house- a natural place to linger for a while and take stock.  Part of this self reflection forces us to acknowledge that, like it or not, our time is limited and not full of infinite 'tomorrows'.  So it's really no surprise that this brings with it a new awareness of just how precious our time is and leads us to the next big question:
How do I want to spend the rest of my life?

If the answer to this question was as simple as it looks then the midlife metamorphosis would be a painless process.  More often, the shedding of one skin as we outgrow our former selves can be fairly traumatic as we mourn the ending of one life stage whilst searching to find our own sense of purpose for the next.  What goes on in the cocoon of change may not be pretty but the results however, can be pretty stunning!

There is another way.
There's no doubting that midlife can be a major crossroads in a woman's life - there's certainly no turning back and the way forward often looks unclear. But far from being a time of doom and gloom, midlife no longer signifies a time of diminishing opportunities.  On the contrary.... midlife is a time when many  find themselves on the threshold of opportunity and emerge from this transitional period to embark upon unexpected journeys of renewal.

Until now, life has been crammed with far too much to do to be unduly perturbed by any thoughts of the future.  Along the way various dreams and goals may have been silently filed away in a ‘manyana’ box …well, many see midlife as the perfect opportunity to open up their manyana box, reconnect with their long forgotten dreams and make new, authentic choices about how they wish to spend their time.

Two long term American studies suggest that decisions women make as they enter middle age, determine their happiness years later.  If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of the changes ahead, regardless of whether you're in your thirties, forties, or fifties, I urge you to consider coaching as an investment in yourself and your future.

As a midlife coach I offer you a safe, nurturing environment in which to:

• take stock in order to make considered decisions
• clarify your goals for the future
• redefine success in your own terms in ways that are naturally compelling and personally meaningful
• align the way you spend your time with what’s important to you

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